splutter, gasp, stars absolutely not applicable
No kidding. This one must be one of the nominees
for the winner of the WORST Film of the Year. Jeer!
Now, I shouldn’t really have to explain why.
Pairing teakwood Arbaaz Khan with simper-‘n’-slay Sunny Leone should be
explanation. Surround them with four weirdo Jackos and Jills (one of
them’s Arya Babbar making funnier faces, unintentionally, this side of Johnny
Lever), order them to bungle in jungles, go
glug-glug-we’re-drowning-in-an-ocean. And ta ra ra pum pum, top them all with
Sudha Chandran portraying a ghost-buster of sorts, and you’ll know why Tera
Intezaar, belongs to the pits.
Directed by Raajeev Walia, Tera Whatever must
have been ideated the lord knows-where-when-and-why. The pitch could have only
been: let’s make a Sunny Leoneji movie, dhamaal hit ho jaayegi.
Sunny Leone & Arbaaz Khan Tera Intezaar
Tsk, Walia and Co, then, presumably scribbled a
screenplay (inspired by some vague memories of the Demi Moore-Patrick Swayze
movie Ghost). To twist the Bhoot classic beyond human recognition, the add-ons
are some fiddlesticks and nonsense about judwaa types (not telling you
who-on-earth though), the surreal sight of a mango materialising out of nowhere
(an unseasonal alphonso, no less), and a Van Gogh yellowish-musardish sweater
that could be a deadly clue to the maniacal supernatural mystery.
Speaking of Van Gogh, I know it’s blasphemous to
mention his name any which way vis-à-vis Artist Veersingh (Arbaaz, heh heh) who
paints a rather worthless portrait of Art Gallerist Raunaq (Leone, hawwww).
He’s never met her in person, on Facebook, nowhere, except in his dreams. Wow
now the portraitwali lady is smitten, and purrs away like a kitten.
Sunny Leone In Tera Intezaar
Believe it or not, every art buyer, their uncles
and aunties are keen to pay globs of money for Apna Artist’s canvases. Such
lunacy really. Twisteroo in the story now: Artist hero vanishes, he could have
been killed by an angry art critic of course. But dispense that theory.
I didn’t really understand, or want to follow
the rest of this brain-zapper of a movie, if it can be called a movie at all.
Okay, so Ms Leone dances provocatively to lyrics
which allude to Jhumka Patialewala (huh, why Patiala?), and models chiffony,
seductive outfits which verge on the pret-a-porter side. Woe betide.
Arbaaz Khan And Sunny
Leone In Tera Intezaar
Yeah, so do see some clear-blue vistas of
Mauritius, and wish you were there instead of suffering duffering through this
Intezaar. Actually, the one element you wait for is the end.
When it does, you’re elated – so you can tell
the rest of the world to avoid Tera Intezaar, even if you’re paid to see it.