Old Review: Gael Garcia Bernal And Vicky Krieps Starrer Fails To Impress

Check out the review of Gael Garcia Bernal and Vicky Krieps starrer Old.

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Old Review: Gael Garcia Bernal And Vicky Krieps Starrer Fails To Impress

Our own Manoj Night Shyamalan’s films have been going from worse to worse, with a few exceptions, like the 2016 thriller Split which was redeemed by James McAvoy’s macabre performance.

Old is tediously non-involving. I am trying to be as polite as possible  about how gawd-awfully dull and incoherent this film really is. It is  a shame that we have to watch it with gritted teeth  because…well… apna Shyamalan ki picture hai, mere dost. Be warned. The premise for his suspenseful pilgrimages are becoming harder to swallow with each passing film.

In this one, a bunch of vacationers are trapped on a scenic island where the inhabitants age a lifetime during 24 hours. I don’t know how much I aged in the two hours of watching this excruciating brain-bender. But it definitely left me a lot more worldweary and haggard at the end of the movie when one of  the characters sagely informs us, “I came to the island at 9 and I am leaving at  50.” The luckier ones were  killed  earlier, out of sheer boredom I’d think.

Island vacations popping off one after the other reminded me  of  Agatha Christie’s Ten Little Indians. The actors playing victims of some brain-skewed experiment involving an anti-aging drug looked lost  most of the way. Gael García Bernal and Vicky Krieps, interested in  other films, play a couple facing marital problems. The wife  had a tumour which acquired a life of its own as the plot hops from one  absurdity to another.

When their kids start  growing up a little too fast (we are talking 10-15 years in a few hours) they forget their own problems and begin to focus on how to get off the island before the wrinkles take over their lives completely. Trying to figure out how to make my escape. But then the  300  rupees ticket for each individual (there were 4 of us) and  a commitment to submit a review kept me going.

But seriously, Shyamalan should give me back at least my money,  if not my wasted hours. This is a dumb, pigheaded sci-fi horror film with not a single genuine scary moment. Unless you find a girl who was just a child a while back growing up in minutes, having s** and giving birth all within 15 minutes. By then I was laughing too hard to feel scared.

Really, Mr Shyamalan, you need  a break. Forget Sixth Sense. There is  no sense left in your vain attempts to spook us.

Image source: IMDb