and behold. Yucktion packed, your brain ransacked, here’s a Middle East-located
jeepers creepers bristling with daredevilry, cornball humour, a harem peepshow,
chase scenes, mid-air acrobatics and for a puff of the politically incorrect,
cigarette smoking. Still smokin’ hot, it ain’t.
Rohit Dhawan, after the eminently forgettable Desi Boyz, has no other agenda
but to Dishoom the viewer senseless. In the name of entertainment, presumably, kuchh
bhi karega. In retrospect, the action head-bangers of Abbas-Mustan (the Race
franchise, for instance), strike you as virtual masterpieces. If the Abbas-Mustan
duo were cobbling together plots and stunts from the Hollywood bullet buffets,
at least they were the first ones to bring the guns-‘n’-cars dopiaza to the
Anyway, Rohit Dhawan and co-scriptwriter Tushar Hiranandani are determined to serve the same ‘ole formula in a new Moroccan-cum-Abu Dhabi package, not that you haven’t been there already. You have in the super company of the James Bond-‘n’-Jason Bourne flicks. In the event, you might as well just grin and bore it all over again. What you expect is what you get. Neither any surprises nor any unusual suspects in Planet Dhawan, alas.
then, to a crack cop (John Abraham) and his cracked partner (Varun Dhawan), who
are in scalding hot pursuit of one Mr Wagah (Akshaye Khannaji). Why why? What
is the saga of this gaga Wagah? A beastly cricket match-fixer, it seems this
bookie has run into a debt trap. What a flap.
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To get out of this lose-lose situation, the fixer has organised the kidnap of an ace Indian cricketer (Saqib Saleem), just a few deadly hours before an Indo-Pak face-off. No ace player, presumably no sixers and boundaries at the stadium. Such tedium.
plot could have been written on a pinhead, actually. Result: there are mandatory
diversions galore topped by the curious case of Lady Ishika (Jacqueline
Fernandez). A reformed drug-addict and a pocketmaar, she fetches up to aid Cops
Crack and Cracked in their Mission Possible. Are her heart and costumes in the
right place? Sorry, can’t share the answer since that would subtract from
whatever there is of the suspense factor.
there is an apparent lack of confidence in the bromance which develops between
the cops, who’re as unlike each other as chalk and cheddar. To add fuel to the
commercial fire, guest appearances pop
up led by Akshay Kumar, and Parineeti Chopra (uh oh, as an item gal no
star value helps but there’s already a sufficient heft, isn’t there? And the
more bemoaned about the distracting product endorsements, the worse. Producer
Sajid Nadiadwala seems to be working towards milking maximum profit, not the
ideal route towards quality control.
the upside, the chemistry between John Abraham and Varun Dhawan does yield some
mildly amusing moments. Since neither is summoned to display any acting chops, they
sprint through the clichés with ceaseless stamina.
Abrahamji fixated with a ciggy, however, could have learnt lessons on how to be cool instead of looking as if he didn’t know whether to exhale, inhale or what on earth to do with the damn weed. Jacqueline Fernandez dances as if she’s on hot coals, looks uber glam but that’s it.
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an occasional acting spark can be detected, it’s from Akshaye Khanna on the
comeback trail. But..er..couldn’t he have opted for a project which could have
been an outlet for his considerable talent? Stupid question that, maybe. To
each actor his own.
the Dishoom-nama wears a polished look, gracias to Ayananka Bose’s
cinematography. And the action feats masterminded by Allan Amin and Stefan
Richter are close to jaw-dropping intermittently. As for the music score, theek hai, it
blasts while it lasts.
So to see or not to see? Answer: why not if you’re an actionoholic? For the undecided, the recommendation is stay at home and zzzzzzzz.
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