A few days after SpotboyE.com published an explosive interview of TV actress VaishnaviDhanraj (last seen in Yeh Vaada Raha) in which she accused her husband Nitin Sahrawat of domestic violence (TV Actress Vaishnavi Dhanraj Says Her Husband Beat Her Up Until Her Leg Bled!, Dec 5, 2016), Nitin in response took to his Facebook page to post 1000-odd words. Don't go by the number 1000, because we didn't really count since they're not worth the exercise.
Reading this 'article’, the writer of which didn't have the professional courtesy to confirm with me the facts/my rejoinder, I was reminded of Agnisakshi, a 90s adaption of Sleeping with the Enemy. I must be some special kind of psychopath- Nana Patekar’s advanced version!
Frivolity apart, this is what I was trying to avoid- the dirty linen wash in public. Over the last year and a half that my marriage came apart, I have never said anything remotely negative about my ex-wife, no matter how grave the provocation from her end. Common 'friends’ used to message me about her derogatory posts on Facebook, I started avoiding those friends. I didn't want to criticize her in order to defend/explain myself. End of a marriage is bad enough, I didn't want it to become a media circus like most of the failed Showbiz marriages.
Fourteen years that I have been in Bombay, I have lived my life according to a strict code. One of dignity, and self respect. I kept my personal life away from the constant glare of media, never attended any award function/party, because I wanted my work to speak for me. I didn't need any controversy to further my career, because being an actor wasn't the absolute final destination of my life.
When we filed for a mutual divorce, I was under the impression that things are ending because of, as she told me- my ‘emotional unavailability’. “You don't hug me enough”, she said when I pleaded with her to at least tell me the reason for her walking out of the marriage. I had no clue hugs meant so much to her, and as a way of repentance I admitted the same to the media when they called for soundbites.
We met/interacted for the last time in January 2016, when our divorce got finalised in that depressing Bandra family court building, and that's when she told me the real reason for our divorce. Maybe her conscience had finally stirred, maybe the heady exhilaration at the smooth end of the marriage had filled her with bravado; whatever the reason might have been for a rare burst of honesty, I won't reveal what she told me because whatever she said was between a husband and wife.
Just before we entered our respective cars, never to see each other again, we hugged each other..long and meaningfully. I blocked my mind to what she had just told me, and focussed instead on the love that a husband and wife had for each other. Choked with emotions, in a quivering voice she asked me if we could start dating each other again, a fresh and clean start. There was nothing that I wanted more than to be with her, because I had merged my identity with her’s; the two years that we had been married, there were hardly any days that we were apart. We had created a world of our own, away from everyone else- together for 24 hours. I couldn't imagine a life away from her, but I also knew that I wouldn't be able to forgive her. Saying no to her proposition was the toughest decision that I have ever made. That last hug of ours was everything that she had craved for, and as for me - I never knew hugs could be so therapeutic. In spite of what she had just told me, I let that hug be pure, and heartfelt. A final send off to the one I loved, to the one I had decided to be with till my last day..
Once I was back in my car though, the gravity of what she had just told me hit me, hard. The real reason for our divorce. I was always a recluse but this drove me over the edge, to the confines of the Aarey jungles. For months I didn't step out of my house, I didn't meet a single human being/ pick up my phone/ reply to messages. Thor, and the weekend visits from my younger brother who was working in Pune, were the only things that kept me sane.
Even when nothing made sense, I didn't criticize her. I didn't confide in anyone apart from my parents and my brother. Slowly hours became days..months.. I started the long process of healing, towards finding a new 'normal’.
Recently I tried to make a fresh start- came to my parental home in Dehradun. For the first time in a year and a half I felt at peace, the sheer negativity of whatever had transpired slowly started getting replaced with hope, that maybe I would be able to trust someone again..
And then this website, which I had never heard of, published this ‘interview’ which went viral. Reputed mainstream websites, without bothering to contact me even once, started publishing their own versions, quoting the spotboyE article. How easy it has become to destroy someone, all for sensationalism?
I know the truth, my parents and my brother know the truth, and as for the rest of the world I really don't care. For the last forty-three years my mother has been a professor in the largest college of the state, and all through my 'aggressive childhood’(?) I have seen her set an example for me. I have been taught nothing but utmost respect for women, hence I would desist from blowing this sheer nonsense of an article to smithereens, point by point, because doing so would entail me attacking/demeaning someone whom I once loved. I won't get dragged into this blatant effort at publicity.
This is the first, and the last time that I am discussing this ‘episode’ of my life, and no matter what further provocation my ex-wife might throw my way in the future, my stock response would be a 'no comment’. I am trying to salvage whatever scraps of dignity I can, from this mess.
I wish my ex-wife the best for her professional life, and presumably, for Big Boss’s next season.
So yeah, like we told you above, we started talking to people who know Vaishnavi and Nitin. In his post, Nitin had written: “Choked with emotions, in a quivering voice she (Vaishnavi) asked me (outside the Family Court!) if we could start dating each other again, a fresh and clean start. Saying no to her proposition was the toughest decision that I have ever made.”
Expressing disgust and scorn, a source told SpotboyE.com, “Why would Vaishnavi go through the pain of divorce procedures, sign the papers and come out of the Court to request Nitin to date her again? If she had any second thoughts, she would have held herself back from signing and had a chat with Nitin much before that.”
The source added that the entire hug theory (Nitin had also written that 'Vaishnavi hugged him outside the Family Court'!) was bullsh**.Vaishnavi never hugged Nitin the last time they met (in the Family Court) as mentioned in his FB post.
“Think rationally. Why would she go back to the miserable life she was leading with Nitin and go through the ordeal again?” the source demanded to know.
If this was not enough, Nitin ended the post by passing a nasty comment: 'I wish my ex-wife the best for her professional life, and presumably, for Big Boss’s next season.
Just a quick question, Nitin: If a lot of ups and downs have happened in Vaishnavi's life to make her a fitting candidate for Bigg Boss 11, doesn't that qualify you too as an equally fitting candidate if not more for the same season? You both were man and wife (until you divorced in January 2016) and your life story is no less controversial than hers. Are we right? Or, are we RIGHT?
Image Source: facebook/nitin/sahrawat